Aquiring Super Powers

[Captain Marbles]

Say, would you like to get some super powers?  Sure! We all would!  But how does one go about aquiring these amazing abilities?  You could just be born with super powers. But then there'd be no point in trying to get super powers if you've already got them.  You might try getting super powers in a freak accident involving chemicals or nuclear waste.  Of course, the chances of getting super powers that way are about the same as the chances of winning the big money on one of those scratch off lottery tickets.  Plus, theres a very good chance you could die, so I think I'll forget that option, too.

So, the best way to get powers would be to deliberately enhance yourself somehow.  Now, some might try using chemicals or a ray to jump start a mutation and aquire super powers.  The problem with this is even you do succeed in getting super powers, there is the unfortunate possibility of nasty side effects.  I don't want nasty side effects with my super powers, so that option's out.

That leaves technological enhancement.  Most of the super powers can be duplicated by current technology already.  Exoskeletons can give one super strength, and infra red goggles can give one super vision, for example.  Of course, you'd eventually have to take the armor off, which means there's a good chance it might be stolen, and the last thing I need is for my power crazed arch enemy to use my own weapons against me.  Some might say that could be solved with lockout codes to keep the bad guys from using the armor if they do manage to steal it, but what can be locked and coded can be unlocked and decoded. Anyway, I want these powers to be as much a part of me as possible, which means intergrating them into my body somehow. 

Now, there are two types of cyborgs in science fiction.  The first type has some limbs and other body parts replaced with mechanical prosthetics, and the other is a brain housed in a robotic body.  Becoming either type of classic cyborg requires that one be mangled and mutilated— *shudder*

So, is there a way to make a body bionic without mutilation?  I believe there is, and the answer lies within the field of nanotechnology. Imagine using nanobots to enhance the functions of your cells.  Bionic cells, what a concept!  You could have a bionic brain and nervous system!  Total recall, super intelligence, and the enhanced nervous system would give me superior reflexes, bionic super senses, and super agility and balance!  Your bionic bones and muscles would make you super strong!  You could get super breath with bionic lungs!  Your bionic heart could pump blood faster and more efficiantly!  Bionic white blood cells would give you super immunity to diseases!  A bionic liver would grant superior protection against toxins!  With bionic skin, you'd be practically indestructible!  You could just take any body part, organ, system, whatever, and imagine enhancing it with these amazing nanobots! 

So where do you get the energy for these amazing super powerizing nanobots?  Eating.  See, the nanobots would use micro fusion reactors for power, and they could use the waste generated by your body as a fuel source.  Figure three pounds of food a day, with 25% efficiancy, gives me 2.25 pounds of fuel. And with the old e=mc², that's, well, a lot of power.  (I'm not much good at math) Which would make you one seriously super powerful dude or dudette!  You could even use any excess energy for extra powers such a flight and laser vision!

So, in conclusion, the best way to aquire super powers is through the miracle of nanotechnological bionics.         

[Permanus]

You mean I spent all that time saying "Shazam!" for nothing???

[Super Monkey]

Kimota!

[Captain Marbles]

I was thinking about how one might get super powers in a science fiction setting, not fantasy.  That's why I didn't count magic words or talismans as a way of getting super powers.  Besides, "magic powers" just seems like a cop out to me. Like the "psionic powers" explanation for Superman's powers.  It's like saying, "I'm too lazy to come up with something plausible, I'll just say it's magic!  No, wait, I can't use that, this is supposed to be science fiction, hmm.  Okay, I'll just say his powers are psionic!  Yeah, that sounds 'scientific', and those geeks won't realize I pulled a fast one on them by substituting 'psionic' for 'magical'!"

I know my "nanobionics" idea may seem far fetched—then again, they are working on building medical nanites, so, who knows?

[Uncle Mxy]

I was thinking about how one might get super powers in a science fiction setting, not fantasy.  That's why I didn't count magic words or talismans as a way of getting super powers.  Besides, "magic powers" just seems like a cop out to me. Like the "psionic powers" explanation for Superman's powers.  It's like saying, "I'm too lazy to come up with something plausible, I'll just say it's magic!  No, wait, I can't use that, this is supposed to be science fiction, hmm.  Okay, I'll just say his powers are psionic!  Yeah, that sounds 'scientific', and those geeks won't realize I pulled a fast one on them by substituting 'psionic' for 'magical'!

The problem is that, quite frequently, the powers as illustrated violate the laws of physics.  But, they're cool-looking (important for a graphic medium) and, in many cases, part of the history of the character and|or genre.  Give some "logical" explanation for how Superman's flight works beyond "he's super".  Keep in mind that the the people who want to know exactly HOW Superman's flight works are a small subset of the people who think it's cool to see Superman fly.

[Captain Marbles]

Did't you wish you could be super smart so you could figure out how to give yourself super powers?

[Uncle Mxy]

Did't you wish you could be super smart so you could figure out how to give yourself super powers?

Being super-smart in the way I'd want to be would violate the laws of physics and probably a few other laws as well. 

[Captain Marbles]

Well, if you're a mad scientist, and you have the way and the means to become the most powerful being in existance, you're not going to let little things like laws stop you, are you?